Friday, June 28, 2019

Physical Distractions on the Golf Course Cost Strokes and Embarrassment

(RELEASE) – Extreme butt sweat afflicts many golfers, costing them strokes, embarrassment and even friends. Could the right garment help these damp duffers and take strokes off the next round of golf? The makers of SwampButt Underwear™ trust it will and believe they can demonstrate this to the golfing public. Sweat wicking garments made from blends of polyester and lycra will not absorb moisture but instead disperse it over the surface of the fabric for faster evaporation. When sweat disappears into the atmosphere faster, it is less likely to make hands slippery, or soak the shorts and backsides of summertime linksters regardless of handicap.

Mind Over Matter Over Swamp Butt

Extreme butt sweat will distract even the best golfer.
People who play golf know that it is a mental game as well as physical. Great or just good golfers focus their attention and tune out the mental chatter that jumps around in the average person’s brain. “It’s like the sound of tuning a bad or old AM radio,” said frequent golf exaggerator and SwampButt Underwear spokesman Nick Heraldson.

Inner Static and Outer Butt Sweat

The inner world of most golfers is a lot of static, pieces of songs, comments, commercials, Spanish language, gobbledy gook and Sean Hannity. While trainers, teaching pros, sports psychologists, Zen Masters and your playing partners have plenty of advice about how to tune out the chattering consciousness of human kind, there are few with remedies to the more mundane manifestations of this or any outdoor sport and that is the extreme butt sweat that afflicts so many golfers. Visible butt sweat will weigh down and distract any golfer with a soaking pair of shorts. “It’s really tough to focus on a drive, short iron, pitch or putt with a sweat bead forming and then running all the way down your backside, down the crack before pooling in my cotton undershorts,” said Heraldson. “It’s the most distracting thing on any golf course in the history of the sport.” While this is difficult enough to overcome, the derision of other golfers will try the psyche as well.

Stuck to the Cart Seat

Golfers with swamp butt will often stick to plastic and/or vinyl surfaces. Once the offending cheeks are unpeeled, there is the dampish, gross imprint left behind on that seat, chair, booth or bar stool. “I thought that my friends would be sympathetic about my condition or at least polite enough not to say anything,” Heraldson lamented. “That was naïve.” Heraldson described how photos of his swampy backside and cart seat butt-prints were photographed and widely shared on social media, much to his embarrassment.  “I need better friends,” he mused.

Extreme ‘Sweatification’

In the worst cases, sweat does not stop at the waist but soaks belts, and even wicks up shirts.  Wet garments will rub and irritate the inner thighs and other parts of the anatomy with chub rub.  Chub rub will bring tears to the eyes of even the toughest golfers.  “Golf is difficult enough on the best day, so why put up with the specter of butt sweat when such a thing is not really necessary,” Heraldson wondered out loud. Sweat wicking garments are the best way to manage or even eliminate extreme butt sweat on or off the golf course.

Relief and a Sale Price

SwampButt Underwear is offering its lime green made in the USA variety at $18.00 (that’s one dollar per hole) a pair this summer off the regular price of $24.99 or 28% less than usual. “As hot and humid as it is in most of the country, we will not be surprised to see the people who take advantage of this sale have their handicaps go way down.” NOTE: The lawyers at SwampButt Underwear want to remind everyone and especially Nick that there is no way to substantiate this claim and that no one should believe for a moment that wearing these drawers will result in a better handicap. “Lawyers take the fun out of everything,” Heraldson declared.

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